Writing an Author Bio

Another request for a full!!  I've now submitted to 30 agencies, have received 6 form letter rejections and 3 request for fulls.    This last request-from Trident, eee!!- also wanted me to submit an author bio, which I've put off writing.  

"It must be strange to write about yourself in the 3rd person," my friend said- and it was, at first, but then I became just another character. 

"This is just a thought," John said, looking at the folded piece of paper on the counter, "but when you place tabby cats before library books, it changes the emphasis... is that the way it was?"

My sister looked at me.

"Yes," I said. 

Oh Pinky Cat, I still miss you.  (Wouldn't The Cat's Mistress be a great title for something??)

Anyway: how to write an author bio- 

Make a list of blips about yourself. 10 or so, which maybe have nothing to do with your writing: 


Self-schooled, rambler, longtime keeper of scribbly journals & tabby cats.  Loves the sound of locusts.

Also, a list of words:  

Feral, self-reliant, messy.  

Then you shuffle everything around and make a story out it.  
 
Largely self-educated, Pauline West was raised by tabby cats and library books.  She keeps record of her dreams, inclinations and habits of mind in disorderly notebooks, and re-wilds herself every evening with long rambles through the woods and alleys of Charleston, South Carolina.